Coaching Themes
Imposter Syndrome
- Do you worry others will find out you are not as clever as they think you are?
- Do you avoid challenges because of self-doubt?
- Do you believe your accomplishments are because of chance?
- Do you hate making mistakes and being underprepared?
- Do you assume others are smarter and more capable than you?
- Do you live in fear of being ‘found out’?
If so you might possess some of the traits of imposter syndrome. A recent Kings Fund Article describes high-achieving individuals who struggle to internalise success; who feel fraudulent; and who attribute success to factors such as hard work, charm or luck. Those with ‘imposter syndrome’ experience a chronic sense of inadequacy. It is an experience shared by women and men. The folowing case studies, resources and exercises will alow you to understand Imposter Syndrome in more depth, define the impact it is is currently having on your life and career as well acquire strategies to overcome it.
Case Studies
Resources
Imposter Syndrome in Medicine and How to overcome it (2019)
Tackling Imposter Syndrome (The Kings Fund) (2019)
How to handle imposter syndrome (Medical News Today) (2020)
Imposter Syndrome (Psychology Today) (2020)
Confidence Building Exercises
7 Strengths
Magazine Article
Ask 5 People
Challenging Limiting Beliefs Exercises
Managing Anxiety
Text
Case study
Further Resources downloads
Perfectionism
Confidence & Assertiveness
What is Self-Confidence – and Why Is It Important?
Self-confidence is understanding that you trust your own judgment and abilities, and that you value yourself and feel worthy, regardless of any imperfections or of what others may believe about you.
Self-efficacy and self-esteem are sometimes used interchangeably with self-confidence, but they are subtly different.
We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others like us) mastering skills and achieving goals. This encourages us to believe that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed. It's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges and to keep going in the face of setbacks.
Self-esteem is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy.
Also, self-esteem comes in part from the feeling that the people around us approve of us. We may or may not be able to control this, and if we experience a lot of criticism or rejection from other people, our self-esteem can easily suffer unless we support it in other ways.
Assertiveness
1.What is it?
“Confidence and directness in claiming your rights or putting forward your views”
“Direct, open communication that balances your needs with the needs of others”
”Stand up for yourself, but not at the disadvantage of other people.”
“Being confident without condescending”
2. Assertive Behaviour Types
AGGRESSIVE angry, demanding, impatient - Bullying
PASSIVE complying, hesitating, self-deprecating - Victim
INDIRECT or PASSIVE AGRESSIVE angry, manipulating, disguising – turning up late/ not committing to meetings
ASSERTIVE listening, understanding, expressing
3. Assertiveness = Balancing Needs
Aggressive – I value my needs/ I don’t value your needs
Passive – I don’t value my needs/ I value your needs
Passive Aggressive – I don’t value my needs/ I don’t value your needs
Assertive – I value my needs/ I value your needs
4. Styles of Communication
- Focus on ‘content’ of feedback rather than ‘delivery’
- Don’t react to the behaviour/delivery – reflect on the information and propose solutions
- Create connection/rapport to aid understanding
*Similarity – have you seen anything like this before? Points you can agree on
* Hierarchy – little bits of help – best sandwich shop/ quickest route into work; ‘ I value your input as you have been here so long’
* Listen – Clarifying/Can you offer something in return to match your needs?/ Acknowledge their viewpoint
* The Positive – What can you offer first? ‘I’ve seen it but haven’t done it before’
* Clarity and Succinct message – think it through and get to the point – ‘What would you recommend the best way as to proceed safely’; Be clear about what you are upset about – REQUEST confidently in terms of rights rather than Complain.
- Reflection – ‘I need time to think – can I come back to you later? I will come up with a better solution this way’; ‘I cant commit to it now but give me more info and I will see what I can do’
- Tone – Female language can be more tentative/watch out for ‘up’ innotation as this can weaken message you want to get across
- Time – its ok if it doesn’t work out straight away – be compassionate to yourself
5. A more assertive response: Re-collect yourself
# Use CARP Mnemonic to refocus on content rather than delivery
C-control self and situation
A-Acknowledge emotion and viewpoint
R-Refocus from problem to solution
P-Propose options and alternatives
# Remind yourself of your core values and strengths – Identify Achievements
# Commit to principles of positive action
# What will be outcome on me and patient safety if I don’t speak up?
# I will value myself and others I will be aware of my reactions and my choices I will focus on solutions and learning
# Use BEAR Mnemonic to structure response
6. Stock Phrases
# Use ‘I’ and ‘We’ rather than ‘You’ as less accusatory or blaming. Also ‘If’ for solutions
# ‘Gosh – I honestly was not expecting that response – can I put it another way?’
# ‘I want to help contribute – but can we make/consider some adjustments’
# ‘What should we recommend? What can we do?’
# ‘I value your input’
7. Principled (“win-win”) negotiation “Hard on the problem, soft on the people”
• People: separate the people from the problem
• Interests: focus on interests, not positions
• Options: generate a range of options for mutual gain
• Criteria: use objective criteria (e.g. legislation or organisational policies) to evaluate possible outcomes
Getting to Yes, Fisher & Ury
Shame & Guilt
